The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. Audrey Hepburn
I have been flipping through my pictures on my phone to try and muster up the inspiration to write an inspiring, passionate, body positive piece, but I can not find it. I see acne and back rolls, and lack luster hair. I have been sitting here for an hour trying to come up with the perfect punch line, but in truth my lack of inspiration is coming from deep within on this subject, and as I work through this journey to conquer body doubt I realize this may just be the first baby step I needed.
I found out about the art of Boudoir Photography in my early 20's, it seemed to me to be the height of a women who has the utmost confidence in herself. I wanted to be that person looking into the camera lens with steamy eyes, and cheeky playfulness. I wanted to be totally uninhibited and pleased with just myself. As the years have been rolling by I continued to put off this treat for one reason or another, not enough money not enough time, I needed to lose weight, get in better shape. So many excuses. Weirdly, the time came at the point in my life where I am probably feeling the least confident in my body. Rated R for Racy and Beautiful.
So with my latest bucket list in front of me (#40before40) I started to research possible photographers. I wanted the full package, which would include hair and makeup and location. My search was not that hard because some of the most sexy confident women I know are my friends and they were all too keen to recommend Dani Carlton (DCarlton Photography). The booking process was quick but thorough. Easy.
I arrived at the session, still not feeling incredible. It probably didn't help that I booked my session in the dead of winter and arrived in enough clothes to blanket a soccer field.
I wasn't nervous about being in front of a camera, I was nervous that I was not going to be happy with how the camera was viewing me.
Coming from the beauty industry my expectations are pretty high. Both hair and make up were done by Liliana D. the head make up artist and stylist for DCarlton Photography. It was perfect, she works with your natural features, and the hair was soft and bouncy.
After Liliana was finished, she packed up and said her goodbyes. The session started with the outfit I was feeling the most comfortable in, a beautiful sea foam slinky thing from Victoria's Secret. Trotting around half naked actually actually didn't feel so weird, or bad. She took a few trial shots, to find the right angles and lighting and away we went.
As I was just starting to let down my guard a little, outfit 2 was requested. This beautiful teal body suit from La Vie en Rose was an interesting choice for me as I had never actually worn one before. This was a new barrier breaker for me, but I was in love with the lace texture and vibrancy and I really wanted to feel great in it.
Outfit # 3 was a white lacey bra set from Calvin Klein a set I have had for awhile but giving myself few reasons to wear it.
By the end endorphins had taken over my body, and I was relaxed. I was the cheeky girl, the playful girl on the other side of the camera. I looked back at the raw images and saw the person looking back at me glowing, radiant, and completely at ease with the body she had. I didn't see the meek girl from a couple hours before.
Dani has an incredible personality and was able to draw out the confidence in me one click at a time.
The two hours I spent within the studio was a life changing experience, I am now easier on myself and each day I respect each curve, and bump a little more.